Katherine Kane, M.A., M.C.C.

I idolized my big brother, desired his affirmation, approval, and acceptance.   He summoned me to his bedroom and informed me that he was going to “educate” me.   I felt a tinge of discomfort as I heard him unzip his pants and sensed his movement toward me.   The meaning of “educate” became clear as he approached me and began a series of sexual acts. As a 12-year-old, my 17-year-old brother’s actions left me confused, feeling guilty, and frightened.   I was terrified that if I told anyone I would betray my brother and be blamed by my parents for being in his room.   I often wondered why I kept the secret for as long as I did.   The truth is I finally realized that I was not to blame for these incidents and my desire to release any secrets I held hostage in my soul triggered my need to speak out. My mother’s response and brother’s lack of response were not surprising as I have been the family “scapegoat” for most of my life. My motive for sharing ...