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TRUST BETRAYED, SECRETS KEPT!

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I idolized my big brother, desired his affirmation, approval, and acceptance.   He summoned me to his bedroom and informed me that he was going to “educate” me.   I felt a tinge of discomfort as I heard him unzip his pants and sensed his movement toward me.   The meaning of “educate” became clear as he approached me and began a series of sexual acts. As a 12-year-old, my 17-year-old brother’s actions left me confused, feeling guilty, and frightened.   I was terrified that if I told anyone I would betray my brother and be blamed by my parents for being in his room.   I often wondered why I kept the secret for as long as I did.   The truth is I finally realized that I was not to blame for these incidents and my desire to release any secrets I held hostage in my soul triggered my need to speak out. My mother’s response and brother’s lack of response were not surprising as I have been the family “scapegoat” for most of my life. My motive for sharing my story is to let others kno
THE EMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS HANGOVER The house is empty, the silence is deafening, and the emotional roller coaster had begun.  The emotional hangover sets in.  As the last of my children pulled out of the driveway last night, the feelings and emotions overwhelm me like most mothers bidding farewell after the holidays. The start of the holidays was full of bumps, struggles, and difficulties navigating the changes required to take an emotional and physical "time out".  Time out from situations that cause stress, anxiety, and take away the joy of celebrating relationships.  The way it happened, the hurt feelings, the intensity of decisions, all dumped themselves in the middle of the kitchen at the table.  What resulted was an amazing act of a gracious Father, whose heart is to heal. I learned that it is acceptable to take an emotional "time out". The process was less than ideal, and darn if Satan didn't just vomit in the middle, but......God showed u